I posted a bit of this story of Facebook and people found it hilarious. After a little consideration, I decided the full story deserved a full post.  So let me set the scene, wanting a quick and easy dinner plan I turned to Pinterest for crockpot dinner ideas.  I liked the idea of the chicken teriyaki as I could quickly steam vegetables to go with some brown rice and it wasn’t a stew or soup.  Minimal effort after a long day yet still healthy.

So I followed the directions to the letter, from the weight of the chicken to the liquid measurements.  I read the times and planned accordingly for the heat setting.  Before you ask, it was a new recipe and a new crockpot. (I was informed that some of the classic recipes don’t work in the newer crockpots because of heat setting differences).  I turned it on right before I left so that it wouldn’t be overcooked by the time I got home.  Now I was home about an hour later than expected; however, the damage that was done was not just because of that last hour.

The minute I walked in, I knew something was wrong.  It smelled a bit like burnt toast when I opened the door.  I didn’t make toast that morning, I don’t even have any bread in the house!  So after pitching my purse on the couch and letting Roger out of his confinement (relax people it is the whole bedroom and he has a bed and a chair), I checked dinner.

Ooof people.  It was bad.  There was no liquid left at all.  The recipe said I should have had enough liquid left to thicken into a sauce.  Lies!  It was all caked onto the bottom.  Keep in mind chicken teriyaki has sugar in it.  So that burnt on crud was a hot, sticky mess.  Literally.  The chicken…oh man.  While it did fall apart when picked it up, it was a rock-like mess.  I am not sure how it managed to fall apart and be a brick, but it did.  I have mad mad kitchen skills y’all.

The moral of the story is that I am not allowed to use modern kitchen appliances.  I can cook a four course French dinner straight out of Julia Child and not bat an eye.  It all turns out too.  Mmm that flourless chocolate almond torte.  But ask me to use these new-fangled devices like crockpots and microwaves to cook anything and it will fail.  Don’t even get me started about the time I tried to make a baked potato in the microwave.

So I will go back to me, and cook everything the normal way.  On a stove or in the oven.  Well I will use the crockpot for things like venison stew, I can use it for that.  But never again when I am not home and never again unless I know someone personally who has tried the recipe.

Love and technophobia,


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